I’m dealing with a hot mutton topic
Do you think what goes around, comes around?
I think in 15 years, I’m going to be living proof of that.
When I was little, my father had these long flowing straight locks of hair. He looked like a lot of guys from the early 1970’s. Picture those Bob Seger early albums and you have a good feel for my dad’s hair at the time.
When I was less than a year old, my parents got professional pictures done and one of my favorite portraits from that time has my dad holding me in it.
Long flowing locks.
Fast forward 30 years and that 8×10 photo is on my wall. It still ranks as one of my top 10 favorite pictures. My dad, understandably, hates it.
My wife’s grandfather came over for dinner one day and is looking at the wall of pictures, pointed to the picture and asked, “Whose the gal holding the baby in the picture?”
And now you understand why my dad hates that picture.
Mark my words, my dad will have the last laugh.
Since September, I’ve been involved with a full production of a “Modern Day Scrooge.”
It wasn’t typecasting at all, but I was cast to play Scrooge. It doesn’t matter if I’m grumpy, ornery and often a jerk.
So the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I decided the beard had to go because we were going to be performing the first act the following morning. Well, I was having a
little fun with shaving all that red hair off my face and thought it would be funny if I showed up at our final dress rehearsal with mutton chops. People would laugh. We’d joke about how mutton chops were fitting of the old Scrooge we’ve come to see over the years and I’d shave them off before morning.
Only there was one problem. My director Chad loved them. ?I mean, LOVED them. And now I was stuck with these bushy red mutton chops on my face for the next four weeks.
There are some high school kids cast in the show and each one of them asked if they are real.
It was commentary like that that may have had me shying away from coming back so quickly from my vacation to cover games again.
So my wife and I are out on a date and I share with her that I must be getting better looking because I’ve had a lot of people looking at me of late. I mean really looking, especially the ladies.
“Honey, I must have lost weight or something, because I’m telling you people are checking me out,” I told her.
“No, they are not Aaron,” she said, putting me back in my place. “They’re staring at those stupid things on your face.”
So last Thursday, I was back on the sidelines covering games and heard both Hopewell-Loudon and New Riegel kids asking if they could touch them.
Hopewell-Loudon coach Adam Smith kept looking at me during the post game interviews like I had some disease on my face during my interview.
The following night at Seneca East, it was more of the same from some of the Seneca East kids, asking if they could touch the mutton chops.
But most of all I was dreading coming back into the newsroom where the sports staff is pretty relentless with each other.
Within eight minutes of me walking in the door, John, Zach and Tony had ripped off 31 one-liners or jokes in my direction. They were nearly stumbling over one another for the chance to zing me.
“Did you file your story via Pony Express?”
“President Van Buren, it’s an honor for you to be here tonight.”
“So what was the sinking of the Titanic like?”
And then comes our esteemed editor Rob. He doesn’t say a whole lot as a leader. But when he does, you listen.
“Does that look come with a top hat and cane?”
Needless to say, I knew it was coming all along and it’s why I’m looking forward to 10 p.m. Sunday night when they come off, along with the hair I’ve been growing out since September.
But before that happens, you too can come enjoy the mutton chops and the rest of the cast of Scrooge Saturday and Sunday this weekend in Upper Sandusky. The show starts are 6:30 p.m. both evenings. Doors open at 6 at Trinity Evangelical Church on Malabar Drive. Tickets are free. It really is a heartwarming show, will leave you in the holiday spirit and if you ask nicely enough, I’ll even let you touch the mutton chops.
Fantasy advice: This is where I usually throw you some fantasy advice but I only have three notes to pay attention too.
Aaron Rodgers is still not cleared as of Wednesday night to play this weekend against the Steelers and Pittsburgh presents a defense that is in the top 12 of fewest fantasy points allowed to a quarterback. If you’re still alive in the playoffs and Rodgers is on your bench, you likely have a better option than him at this point or you wouldn’t still be alive. I need to see him play a game before I’d trust my fantasy season with him.
Don’t race out to pick up Matt Asiata. Sure he scored three touchdowns Sunday in Adrian Peterson’s and Toby Gerhart’s absence, but AP is expected to be back this weekend and Asiata stands to be just a historical footnote on the season.
And lastly, let’s talk kickers. Garrett Hartley was waived Tuesday by the Saints and replaced by Shayne Graham. In this case, I think it’s a plug and play situation where you can drop Hartley and pick up Graham and be just fine. The Saints are a potent offense so Graham should be able to pick up the scoring torch in his stead.
Good luck this weekend and remember if you want to see some free Christmas entertainment, you can’t beat heading to Upper Sandusky to see a Modern Day Scrooge.
Aaron Korte is the A-T’s fantasy football writer. He can be reached at email@example.com. You can follow him on Twitter @KorteClarkKent.