Respectful communication can solve many problems; shouting in anger can cause more

I was not much older than 4 years–if even that old — when I saw my first big fight between two grown men. I can’t remember all the details, because that was over 80 years ago. I just remember two men fighting viciously, swinging at each other, doing some damage while drawing some blood.

I believe it was at some sort of a gathering, possibly at the fairgrounds or some such place. I wondered why two men would want to hurt each other with so much force. I have no idea who the two fighters were. But they certainly drew everyone’s attention — including mine.

Even though it’s been that long ago, I still remember the thoughts that I had of not being able to understand why those men wanted to hurt each other so badly. Yes — 80 years ago and it still is a wonder to me why we still see so much violent and disrespectful behavior.

It has now taken on a new dimension which involves children. It’s called bullying and it’s becoming more and more prevalent. I think you’ve heard of it, so I won’t go on and on with how bad it has become.

So as much as we hate to see this with our children, we wonder what do we can do about it–is there anything we can do that will help?

I wish I had a good answer, but I only have a few suggestions that should help. You see, I happen to believe that many problems such as this boil down to the relationship, or lack of relationship, that children have with their parents.

I have been in too many homes where it was very obvious that communication between parents and children was very poor. Parents and children need to communicate with each other. So my suggestion to parents is take the time to talk to your kids. It does not necessarily have to be a lecture–just a good conversation to get to really know each other. Get started by talking about bullying and ask them how they feel about it; but lead into it by talking about something else, such as sports, the weather, their feelings about different issues. The main thing is simply to get into a good conversation with them.

I can’t say enough about the positive effects of good communication between parents and children, but they are beneficial in many different ways. Now, I didn’t just make all of that up. I have done plenty of research on it, so you do not have to take my word for it. Just do as I did and get on the internet to do a search on it and you will find out.

I will end by simply suggesting to parents who are in the process of raising children to just take the time and talk to them. Do your best to keep shouting out of it, as shouting in anger will do more harm than good.


Frank SanGregory,