A few New Year’s resolutions for all you league bowlers out there

As you begin to read this column, my buddies and I will be crossing the Florida-Georgia line listening to music on the radio. I would assume we will be listening to a group called Florida Georgia Line!

By the time you finish this I will have already consumed my free orange juice at the Florida Welcome Center. Seriously, who picks the grapefruit juice anyway?

Oh, sorry. I didn’t know…

Before I left, I composed a list of New Year’s resolutions. Though I am not bowling in a league for the first time in some 40 years, I couldn’t help but think of “concerns” that I had when I was bowling. So, for your benefit, I will share these thoughts in the form of resolutions. You can use any of them that you prefer and, as always, you’re welcome.

I hereby RESOLVE: To never be late to the lanes on my bowling night.  When a bowler fails to show promptly the other members of his team get edgy.  Wondering if you will have all your team present gives some bowlers the jitters that won’t go away immediately, even if the tardy bowler does appear.

It could take several frames before that bowler gets into his routine and that could be costly. OK, maybe this is stretching the truth, but it is nice when everyone is on time.

I hereby RESOLVE: To be ready to bowl when it’s my turn.

You all know the guy or gal I’m talking about. The social butterfly who feels the need to talk to someone at the other end of the house and is not ready to bowl when they’re up several times each night can be irritating.

Keep in mind, said butterfly that not all bowlers are there just to get out of the house. Many bowlers enjoy completing the competition in a reasonable time and WANT to get home. Be ready when it’s your turn. It’s good bowling etiquette.

I hereby RESOLVE: To never get angry when I throw a perfect pocket shot and one of the back row pins stands unmoving. In addition, I will not use loud “drunken sailor” language when this happens.

Sometimes, we forget that it could be our fault (there are very few “perfect” pocket shots) rather than a bad break when the ringing 10 or solid 9 pin chooses not to go down.  We also forget that there are frequently children nearby who should not have to listen to our vulgar words.

I would suggest that we smile and keep our thoughts to ourselves in the event of such an occurrence. All right, perhaps smiling is not possible, but we should keep our potty language to ourselves. You really don’t have to say what you’re thinking. We all share your pain and sympathize with you.

Besides we know exactly what you’re saying even if it’s under your breath!

I hereby RESOLVE: To shake hands with my opponents after each night of competition.

I always found this practice interesting. Some opponents would shake hands every time we competed.  Others were only prone to do so if they defeated my team. Still others disappeared immediately with no thought of giving anybody any credit for a fun evening.

Let’s face it folks. Bowling is indeed fun. Extending our congratulations to our opponents for helping to make the evening enjoyable is a nice gesture. Feel free to do so.Maybe you have some resolutions of your own. If not, you may use some of these if the spirit moves you. Whatever you do, keep enjoying this great game as 2017 unfolds.

Rocket: Tyson Shope 679, Kory Conley 650, David Jones 610, Ameer Muhammad 589, Marc Strausser 574, Martin Klingshirn 567, Samantha Wiley 468 and Randina Muhammad 453. 55 Plus: Jim Ruess 599, Mike Kimmet 563, Bill Mizen 552, Rick Hanna 550, Dick Gabel 534, Ken Gaietto 532, Bob Cleveland 523, Jerry Gillig 523, John Ferstler 511, Jim Donaldson 496, Paul Gosche 487, Bob Reinhart 473, Al Thomas 440, Jim Ferstler 438 and Dave Everhart 437.

Lady Knights: Carol Burmeister 492, Alaina Ritter 478, Marilyn Gangluff 440, Linda Kimmet 401 and Theresa Carp 399.

Allen Eiry: Bob Reinhart 346, Harry Smith 314, Jim Donaldson 313, Larry Cobb 309, Joanne Elchert 300, Ed Wise 293, Ken Jones 284, Betty Sendelbach 279, Robin Brownell 275, Dave Everhart 273, Paul Fey 273, Bill Steinmetz 264, Phil Miller 262 and Jane Hemminger 261.Tuesday Night: Scott Ferguson 607, Doug Snyder 600, Matt Distel 569, Aaron Jones 559, Brett Elchert 552, Nate Reamer 551, Chris Johnson 550 and Jake Moore 544.

Imperial-Majorette-Sportsman: Kevin Yarger 702, Rich Yates, Jr. 666, Kyle Musa 651, Bill Fleming 633, Steve Steinmetz, Jr. 616, Rich Yates 612, Tom Wilkinson 601, Deb Nominee 549, Linda Brookes 463 and Phyllis Hyde 417.

Senior: Bennett Paulus 673, Ken Ritzler 566, Doug Snyder 535, Steve Tiell 509, Denny Reamer 508 and John Arend 503.

Al Stephenson is the bowling columnist for The Advertiser-Tribune.

Read his blog at:www.advertiser-tribune.com