It’s never too late in the bowling season to discuss lane etiquette

I ran across eight simple rules that were titled “Lane Etiquette.” I found them to be helpful, if not a little simplistic. So as I am wont to do, I will share them with you along with my rather unique explanation of said rules.

1. Wait for the bowler to your right to deliver his/her ball if you’re bowling at about the same time.

So who decided that the person on the right should go first? Then again who coined the terms right and left? Oh well, I think you should do what I do when a fellow bowler nears the approach at the same time as you: Let them go first. If they have to watch me throw, the result could set them to laughing so hard they would not be able to concentrate on what they were doing.

Just call me Mr. Etiquette!

2. Remain behind your fellow bowler while he/she is bowling.

Well where else would you stand? I trust this does not mean you should stand directly behind them. I suppose you could do that and even follow them all the way to the foul line. Do you think they would be surprised when they turned around?

By the way, that’s a joke. Do not do that. I do not need letters and calls, thank you.

3. Confine your bowling to your own lane.

Boy am I glad I saw this one. Do you realize how many times I have wanted to grab my bowling ball, head down five or six lanes and release a ball on someone else’s pair? Yes, that would be exactly NEVER.

I believe they are referring to the guy who likes to run out his good shots. You’ve seen him. He thinks he looks cool by sashaying a couple of lanes over.

It’s poor etiquette. Grab him and tell him to stay on his own lane unless, of course he is bigger than you. Discretion is always the better part of valor.

4. Observe the foul line, even in causal play. Play fair.

Next time I bowl, I am going to go up to the foul line and stare at it. That seems fair to me!

5. Never bowl in street shoes.

Most establishments won’t permit this. Just in case you were wondering, here’s some other footwear you should not use while bowling. Baseball cleats, snowshoes, rock climbing boots, flip flops, ballerina shoes, wooden shoes

Just wear bowling shoes!

6. Avoid using someone else’s ball without permission.

Why would you want to use another person’s bowling ball? The odds are it won’t fit your hand anyhow.

Do you remember the guy who threw two gutter balls using another bowler’s ball in the city tournament over a year ago? He didn’t ask permission, because he didn’t mean to use any ball other than his own.

His name still remains a mystery!

7. Limit swearing and bad language as much as possible.

This one is tough. The game does indeed frustrate even the most saintly among us. Perhaps what we need to do is invent some terms that won’t offend anyone. Hey we came up with right and left.

Maybe we can use left – he’s still not happy about having to wait on that “other” guy!

8. Be ready when it’s your turn.

There are normally two culprits who never seem to be ready to bowl – the storyteller and the “I bowl to get out of the house” guy.

In the first case, the story can be completed after you bowl as your audience is going nowhere.

In the second case, the rest of us want to get home at a reasonable hour. If you do not want to go home right away, don’t. It is possible that you’re not the only one that wants you to get out of the house. Just saying

Tim Sturgill rolled a perfect game on his way to a 761 series in the Wednesday Morning League. Tyson Shope shot 681, Steve Norman 647, Paul Landers 642, Ken Lofton 637, Dave Jumper 629, Rich Yates Jr. 628 and Cheryl Radin-Norman 412. In the Rocket League, Steve Barnes shot 644, Dave Jones 605, Beth Jones 566, Jerry Swander 599, John Funk 556 and Dottie Funk 470. Scott Hartsel rolled a 719, Chris Johnson 664, Lance Davis 647, Rustan Burks 646, Jim Mason 635, Ron Yentzer 630, Phil Neikirk 624 and Tom Wilkinson 620 in the Sportsman League.

Bill Mizen shot 588, Jim Ruess 571, Rick Hanna 539, Dan Coppes 536, Bob West 505, Paul Gosche 500, Dick Gabel 467, Bob Reinhart 462, Jim Ferstler 455, Steve Schafer 452, John Ferstler 430, Paul Fey 429, Dave Everhart 427 and Jim Donaldson 351 in the 55 Plus League at the K of C Lanes. In the Tuesday Night League Chris Johnson shot 680, James Lord 656, Justin Hoepf 576, Smokey Ransom 564 and Kevin Orians 550.

Check out these scores from the Big 8 League: Scott Plickert shot 748, Jack Book 730, Robert Tarris, Jr. 716, Carl Wilson 715, Mike Shock 715, Chris King 710, Beau Hahn 707, Brian Kidwell 694, Mark Bowen 685, Aaron Scott 678, Dave Ross 662, Brian Soals 641, Rich Yates Jr. 636, Jim Ross 633, Mark Baxter 621, Jack Berrier 608, Aaron Sherman 606 and Randy Butler 602. Twilight League scores included Kevin Fitch 709, Nick Bumb 655, Hank Wagner 608, Rhonda Fitch 507, Michelle Wagner 453 and Rhonda Lewis 376.

Scores from the Rock N Roll League included Gary Golden 728, Tim Bollenbacher 637, Ken Bauman 631, Mark Phillips 631, Tim Sturgill 628, Steve Barnes 626, John Funk 621, Dirk Nimocks 610, Westly Steele 603, Jerry Meyer 602, Rose Steele 482 and Dottie Funk 476. Robin Dickman shot 600, Lorrie Williams 524, Carla Siebenaller 508, Janet Houk 506, Jamie Thom 502 and Pat Cook 500 in the Alley Cats League. In the Imperial-Majorette League Steve Steinmetz, Jr. shot 609, Ben Hoyda 556, Steve Steinmetz Sr. 546, Mary Ruggerio 498, Rhonda Fitch 494 and Deb Nominee 480.

Al Stephenson is The Advertiser-Tribune’s bowling columnist.

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