There you go again. I can't believe you think I'm going to give you THAT talk! Actually these B's refer to the three sports that have converged at this time of year ? bowling, basketball and baseball. You know: the three B's. Basketball, at least the college version, is over. Bowling season will end soon. That means that baseball is just beginning.
Since these sports all begin with the letter B, I will endeavor to use as many B words as I can in this column. If you like, you can count them. I will assume that you have absolutely nothing better to do. I should also point out that bowling stories are scarce right now, so I will concentrate on the other two. Perhaps I can relate the other two sports to the game of bowling.
The NCAA men's basketball tournament ended not with a bang, but with a bucketful of bricks. Everybody's best-bet underdog, the Butler Bulldogs, had a baleful shooting night in losing to UCONN by 12. The proverbial lid was on the basket for Butler, as it shot a bemusing 18 percent from the field for the game. The score could have been much worse had Connecticut not had shooting woes of its own.
The game was a bit of a dog, not the barn burner we all hoped for. That was appropriate enough as it featured the Bulldogs versus the Huskies. I'm not sure that the Butler mascot, an English Bulldog named Blue II, couldn't have shot as well as the players.
So would things have been more exciting had the Ohio State Buckeyes been in the final game? But of course, assuming that you're a Buckeye booster. They didn't get that far, but did get a first place vote in the coach's final poll. One coach felt that they were the best team in the country despite not winning the tournament. Apparently he took into consideration the Buckeyes entire body of work!
The baseball season got underway with some teams struggling to get a win while others surprised some of the pundits. Baltimore and Boston were two of the surprise teams as the Birds won their first four and the Bosox bit the dust in their first six contests. Then there was the Tribe.
I was on the road as Cleveland took on the Chicago White Sox in the season opener at Progressive Field. When I tuned in the game on my car radio, it was the fourth inning. Eight Chisox runs in that bleak frame added to the six already on the board meant the Indians spotted the Pale Hose a two-touchdown lead. The Indians salvaged the third game of the series before getting out the brooms and sweeping Boston. The only run of game three scored on a suicide squeeze bunt. Bravo!
The first week of the season also coincided with the perjury trial of Barry Bonds. The behemoth home run king is accused of lying to a federal grand jury about the use of steroids. He claims he didn't knowingly take steroids. That's a little like me asking you to believe that I eat like a bunny rabbit.
Herein lies the problem in this bogus trial. If no one (who will talk) saw him use the drugs and he denies that he did, then how do you convict him of lying? The fact that if you look at pictures of him in his rookie year and during his 73-bomb season and see a slight difference in his build is meaningless. Personally it looks to me like a bowling ball was surgically planted in his neck. Maybe it was, as Bonds suggests he did not know what was going into his body!
Baseball has another black eye no matter how the trial ends. There will be more of course. Roger Clemens will face the barristers soon and Manny Ramirez decided to ride off into the sunset after another positive drug test.
So what is one to do? Should I watch the upcoming NBA playoffs to see if 'Bron can lead the Heat to a place he couldn't take the Cavs? Blech!! I will stick with the Boys of Summer and hope that the baseball is not juiced this year. Better yet, I think I will go back to the basics. Let's go bowling!
Scores from the various bowling leagues for this week:
Sunday Night Rock N Roll ? Brett Babcock 682, Tom Tiell 656, Chris Rhodes 639, Josh Melick 632, Dave Jones 629, John Klingshirn 627, Bob Steele 614, Greg Kiser 612, Jim Hershberger 606, Beth Jones 520, Dottie Funk 474.
Sportsman ? Ron Yentzer 726, Rich Yates Sr. 658, Chris Peck 643, Tom Wilkinson 621, Mike Kimmet 612, Lance Davis 600, Harry Smith 594, Ken Butturff Jr. 593.
Alley Cats ? Robin Dickman 554, Kim Weaver 545, Angie Puesey 525, Nita Doran 521, Kathy Coleman 505, Carla Siebenaller 501, Carol Fry 492, Pat Cook 472, Jan Houk 460, Diane Hoover 458.
Twilight ? T.J. Morrow 676, Kevin Fitch 662, Tom Tiell 637, Jeff Chance 627, Hank Wagner 613, Matt Clay 602, Rhonda Fitch 562, Robin Brownell 389, Kristin Fitch 379.
Imperial-Majorette ? Steve Steinmetz Jr. 635, Steve Steinmetz Sr. 603, Rhonda Fitch 528, Brian Shane 524, Deb Nominee 508, Dianne Smith 471.
Rocket ? Eric Vanover 627, Tim Sturgill 620, Tyson Shope 617, Dave Depinet 616, Sandy Coppus 439, Sue Coppus 432.
Wednesday Morning ? Tyson Shope 706, Mark Huffman 693, Dave Jumper 634, Greg Elchert 618, Zach Gaietto 616, Kyle Peck 614, Ken Lofton 607, Aaron Sherman 605, Cindy Conger 560.
Al Stephenson is the bowling columnist.
Read his blog at