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In the spring issue of U.S. Bowler Magazine, I found a 2008 ball guide for the bowling enthusiast in all of us. Sixteen manufacturers have some 67 balls for sale.

This guide will give you all the information you could possibly want if this is the year you finally break down and buy a new ball. Actually, it may give you more info than you can use. Let me show you what I mean.

Visionary makes a ball called Ogre Blue Pearl. Here’s what the guide says about this rock. 46 hook – 16 length – 15.5 breakpoint shape – cover type: pearl reactive – box Finish: 1500 Polish – RG 2.59 – RG differential 29 – easy length with strong arc/flip for light-medium oil.

What? They lost me a little on this description. Near as I can figure, the oyster cried when the thing was made. The ball will also make you say “Howdieeee.” Minnie would be proud.

OK, to be fair I must admit a legend was included with the guide. So for those that really don’t understand some of this bowler-speak, I will share the following facts.

Hook: Cumulative average score of a ball’s hook potential on three test volumes of oil.

Length: How easily a ball gets down the lane before it responds to friction.

Breakpoint shape: Signifies how quickly and aggressively a ball responds to friction.

RG: radius of gyration. How quickly a ball revs up.

RG differential: radius of gyration differential. Refers to track flare potential. (Of course it does!)

Now if all this is Greek to you as it is to me, maybe another look at the guide from the eyes of a less-serious bowler is in order. I think I qualify as one who is more interested in the name and color of the ball, so I will share some thoughts with you.

The AZO Ultra Radical may not suit your political preference but it is a pretty ball that is blue, burgundy and yellow. The Hammer Cherry Vibe is a bright red ball, and I’m feeling it.

Brunswick makes a ball called the Sidewinder. I do walk up to the line crooked sometimes (I learned that from Cas Anez), so this ball may be able to compensate for my being in the wrong place as I release my shot.

Lane Masters has the Hornet. It is a green ball with a yellow bee-like thing on it. Now how can you go wrong with a Green Hornet? My wife actually had a green Hornet years ago, but it was a car!

Lane Masters also makes the Sure Strike. I should get this ball and then sue them for false advertising as it is no sure thing that I am going to throw a strike.

Roto Grip has the Illusion. I generally try to make people think I know how to bowl. If this ball comes with smoke and mirrors it might just be right for me.

Storm has the Special Agent and the Secret Agent. Now if they made one called Agent 86, I could put a phone in my shoe and I’d look pretty “smart” don’t you think, Maxwell?

Track makes a couple of balls that might be right for the easily frustrated bowler. You can start out with the Temper, and if things go badly you can switch to Rising. This company has watched my bowling efforts.

The names given to bowling balls are unique to say the least. Hammer must have run out of ideas when it decided to offer the No Mercy Beat ’N ball.

If you are going to use the name of the ball as your guideline for buying, then I think I have saved the best for last. AMF has a ball called Radar Alert. You can not go wrong with a ball that let’s you know when Gary Burghoff enters the house!

If you are serious about getting a new bowling ball go to your local bowling center and talk to an expert. They can help you get the ball that will work best for you.

Or you can ask me what ball I use. I can tell you one thing for sure. It’s purple!

As the season winds down, a few leagues still are bowling. Here’s a look at some scores.

Mark Phillips fired a 732 to lead the Sunday Night Rock ’N Roll League. Gary Golden rolled a 664, Keith Messmer 653, Bob Steele 650 and Tom Tiell 626. Janice Young had 460 and Kathryn Meyer 424 for the ladies. In the Alley Cats League, Deb Cole had 542, Cindy Bowman 542, Lorrie Williams 510, Anne Laughlin 492, Diane Hoover 487 and Carla Siebenaller 486.

In the Grange League, Ken Babcock had 620, Mike Williams 568, Bill Cook 560, Brett Babcock 552 and Tracy Gerber 551. For the women, Wendy Niestockel shot 474, Linda Young 447, Cassie Frankart 431, Marty Factor 416 and Melissa Crocker 411.

Imperial-Majorette League action, found Brian Jakupca posting 582, Ed Gingerich 567 and Scott Kirian 559. On the distaff side, Deb Nominee had 523, Phyllis Hyde 521 and Anne Laughlin 507. Brian Jakupca had 652, Tom Tiell 623, Kevin Fitch 598, Rhonda Fitch 516, Robin Brownell 472 and Donna Slosser 451 in the Twilight League.

Ben Hoyda rolled a 674 in the Saturday Nite Mixed Doubles League. Brian Kleinknecht had 634, Tom Wilkinson 593, Jim Hershberger 583 and Jere Morlock 576. For the ladies, Jen Rosenbalm shot 510, Beth Jones 496, Janice Young 494, Tammy Altvater 438 and Betty Brady 429.



Al Stephenson is The A-T bowling columnist

 

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