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Picking NFL week 2

September 15, 2013 - Zach Baker
Some of you may remember I tried this last year. Didn't last mainly because I was too busy to get the Thursday night games in. This year, mainly because of a request, I will predict the games, but only Sunday and Monday games. Take this only as seriously as you wish. But you should know Seal's "Kissed By a Rose" is playing on my iPod as I write this.

Rams at Falcons Zach's pick: Falcons.

Why: Despite playing horribly against the Browns in the preseason (which is meaningless), the Rams come in 1-0 after beating the Cardinals (perhaps even more meaningless). The Falcons looked in prime position to steal one in New Orleans last week, but, distracted by Rob Ryan's hair, failed on their final drive. A quick Google search shows that Rams D-coordinator Tim Walton, is, in fact, hairless. Falcons win.

Chargers at Eagles

Zach's pick: Eagles.

Why: Because people love texting me and telling me how great things would be if Chip Kelly was stupid enough to take the Browns job. Because Brandon Weeden is great at the whole speed thing.

Cowboys at Chiefs

Zach's pick: Chiefs

Why: Because the Cowboys aren't allowed to have nice things, like a 2-0 start, until a football man runs them.

Dolphins at Colts

Zach's pick: Colts

Why: Because last time I checked, neither O'Niel Cousins or Mitchell Schwartz play for Indy. And because Chuck Pagano won't try to block Cameron Wake with an undersized fullback (see what I did there? Now I don't have to spell Chris Ogbonnaya's name. Oh, wait).

Titans at Texans

Zach's pick: Texans.

Why: I'd love to take the Titans because they possess the only NFL team that has a player that follows me on Twitter, but Houston hosts, and I've learned being wrong is more accepted if you pick a good home team.

Redskins at Packers

Zach's pick: Packers.

Why: The Redskins looked very 2008 Browns last week.

Browns at Ravens

Zach's pick: Ravens

Why: Because I watched last week's Browns-Dolphins game.

Panthers at Bills

Zach's pick: Bills

Why: Carolina simply can't recover from the void Rod Chudzinski left.

Vikings at Bears

Zach's pick: Bears

Why: Hey, the Browns are in Minnesota next week. It'll be nice for my favorite team to face another angry squad.

Saints at Buccaneers

Zach's pick: Saints

Why: See Falcons/Rams.

Lions at Cardinals

Zach's pick: Cardinals

Why: When in doubt, I always pick against Jim Schwartz.

Jaguars at Raiders

Zach's pick: Raiders.

Why: Flip a coin. No, I mean I literally flipped a coin. Heads is for "home" so I don't get confused.

Broncos at Giants

Zach's pick: Giants.

Why: Look, no matter who wins Jim Nantz will give credit to Mike Lombardi.

49ers at Seahawks Zach's pick: 49ers.

Why: I hate the Seahawks uniforms. Always have. And if losing will encourage them to change to a color... then I will pull for that.

Steelers at Bengals

Zach's pick: Steelers Why: Because I hate the Steelers and the NFL hates me.

 
 

 

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