Join us, please

Quick, join our group before it gets too late! An evil company comes close to us — they want to clean the air! Renewable, clean, it ain’t what we like, not around here anyway. What we really love are coal-fired plants that spew noxious gas into our skies. We like it that they fill the air with particulates every hour.

But even more, we like the gas-powered plants. It doesn’t look so bad, you know, dumping all that CO2 into our air. It won’t really warm our planet so much, but we don’t even care!

But, best of all, the best for us are the nuclear power plants. We don’t have to watch as they pour radioactive waste into rusting 55-gallon drums all over our fair land. Don’t worry none, it’ll be safe in just a thousand years or so.

So, rally with our cause, you all, we’re so proud of our stand. Just give us a call, we’ll get you a sign in yellow and black for your yard. Look close now, they don’t really say at all, pollute! pollute! pollute! We’re so proud of our stand.

You, too, can help if you really try, join up to keep the sky dirty and black. If you don’t help us, one day on your way to work, you might catch a glimpse of a windmill out of the corner of your eye. And that would truly make you sick.

We like the air, water and ground to be dirty here, and we’ll organize and do whatever we can to keep the pollution flowing strong. Those power plants polluting our lives, are mostly in southern Ohio anyway. They don’t bother us much.

Well, there is Davis-Besse a couple dozen miles away, where they stack the nuclear waste in drums. It probably won’t leak, so what if it does? We stand tall for pollution here.

We’re proud of our signs we stick in the yard, to let the world know we won’t take it here. No clean air for us!

Stephen M. Lupton,